Kingsman: The Golden Circle Review
Taking a few steps back, the direction of the sequel could have been good, with a much better script from inception: the Kingsman partner up with and American spy agency; the villain is a Moonraker-esque drug queenpin business mogul with a psychopathic plan. From there, throw out every other decision that was made about the direction to take the story in and start over.
Another thing the film does, is it removes the sense of reality completely. The characters aren’t highly trained spies anymore — they’re superheroes. Eggsy gets thrown through a concrete column and bashed against the floor repeatedly with what looks like a megaton level of force. Normally this would cause a broken spine and probably death, but he’s fine. He literally doesn’t even care. We’re not in down-to-Earth Britain anymore, we’re at Hogwarts, where the Statesmen have magical plastic wrap that revives people who’ve been shot in the brain.
I think about all the things they spent money on and it all feels like such a waste. The CGI: clearly expensive, but it was pretty poorly done and I don’t think it added anything significant to the movie; the robot dogs weren’t menacing and the salon-bot definitely had an ‘off’ look. Elton John probably cost a ton of money to secure and was interesting, but he basically plays Jar Jar Binks and the part where he beats up two guards with a ninja kick and winks at the camera was next-level cringe worthy.
It wasn’t all bad. Some things about the movie that were great: Poppy (Julianne Moore) gave a strong performance, as did Whiskey (Pedro Pascal), although that last-minute taped together, expository backstory for Whiskey… whew, just pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh deeply, that’s the only way to get through it. Oh wait, this paragraph is supposed to be about good things. Poppyland was a cool idea for a lair and it was well executed. Taron Egerton as Eggsy does a great job and carries his scenes. In fact, mostly the performances are good — the real flaw of this film was the most fundamental thing: the plot, the stuff that actually happens.
All in all, I give this movie a D+. Atomic Blonde, taken as a standalone, was better, and that was by no means perfect. Kingsman: The Secret Service, though A++, highly recommended, if you haven’t seen it, you should go watch it.
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment below!
