I already did a review of Anna Akana, but I watched several more of her videos this weekend and I gotta say, she’s really growing on me. I think I wrote her off too quickly as kind of this pop culture bubblegum after school club popular kid. Which, to be fair, I think is still accurate. But I think that it was perhaps unfair to stop there.
First I encountered the video where she was talking about her sister’s suicide and her perspective on suicide in general, which I found to be very vulnerable and very in-line with my philosophy of radical self-expression. I liked it because it was raw and very human. Random aside, I should mention also, potential ability to understand/coincide with/potentially even spread my philosophy is one of the angles I’m using in my patent-pending girl-quality-discernment algorithm. It’s on that pragma node of attraction.
I also watched several of her short films which surprised me in terms of their genres. They were still a little bit pop for me, but they were certainly a little weirder than I was expecting. Some sci-fi, some horror. Little bit Dust, a little bit Black Mirror. Dust is a YouTube channel that does sci-fi shorts, you should check it out. Which, I don’t know, I quite like Dust and futurism in general.
The video that really resonated with me is this one, and I’ll put it up here first and then tell you why:
Several things struck me about this video. First, that’s what Anna Akana actually looks like without all the makeup. I mean obviously she’s still wearing makeup, but that’s what I suppose Anna looks like as a normal human and not a celebrity with 2.6 million followers. But anyway, more profoundly, it’s this moment where I realized there was more to the Bender/Claire comparison that I made in my previous attempt at this review, which is that I build up this artificial hurdle for her because she strikes me as very normal and, I realize saying this about someone who has faced significant tragedy is pretty silly, her perceived normalcy makes me have to face and reflect on my own feelings about abandonment, neglect, family dysfunction and growing up not feeling supported or belonging.
Her world seems really interesting, and foreign, and (this is unfair) easy… lucky to me, not relatable. But relatable in the sense that it seems very idyllic, very Pleasantville. She should watch Hesher. That’s something I find relatable. Or Good Will Hunting, as arrogant as it is to bring that up, is something I found incredibly relatable. Or another one, this is a big one, there’s a very specific scene in a Steven Spielberg movie called Empire of the Sun that is the most relatable to me, and it’s young Christian Bale biking around in an abandoned house eating canned food after being abandoned by his parents. Because she points out her father was a military officer who instilled this structure into her (not that I want structure particularly, that’s not the point), I immediately hone in because my father was also an officer in the military; but it’s not that I relate to it; I feel like it’s a flip-side of the same coin. Some kind of weird tether thing (that’s an Us reference).
More than that, this video, and several others reveal what a disciplined and hard worker she is, which is a quality I really admire and respect. I think she is very insightful and entertaining. There’s this saying, and this is probably not the best thing to say in a review that’s intended to be gushingly complimentary, but it is a compliment. It’s something like “with a genius you can never predict if you’re going to get an A+ or an F, and you rarely will get what you ask for. With a success, you always get an A and you can hang your hat on it.” And I feel like Anna embodies the second half of that. Which is something, likely even at my highest potential, I could never be. For example, Stanley Kubrick is the former; J.J. Abrams is the latter.
Also there’s this other video, which I can’t find, where she’s talking about self-discipline as it relates to getting projects done and she’s shaking this box of candy like “do a little work and I’ll give you some caaaandy” and I thought that was really cute. I didn’t talk too much about how she’s hot in either this one of the other one because I figured that was obvious.
I like that she can relate to trauma and depression and she also seems like someone who’s good at cheering people up. That seems, this might sound a little calculating, useful to have around for someone like me, who has a lot of trauma, who’s endured persistent, recurrent suicidal thoughts and whose sort of baseline existence is defined by anhedonia, disillusionment and disappointment. Well, I mean less so nowadays, I mostly just meditate and journal.
I guess this review was sort of half about me. Anyway, I’m revising her up from… whatever I gave her before, I forgot, to 4.6. No, 4.8.
Anna Akana, new score 4.8.